So today I find myself having to dip in the waters of forgiveness. After letting go of a relationship that wasn’t serving me or healthy for me I’m forgiving the person that has hurt me. Why you may ask? Because I know how my heart beat is. Imagine some of the arteries flowing blood to and from the heart are blocked. The pumping is weak and everything is getting congested. That’s what unforgiveness does in our soul. Its a soul toxin because it blocks us from giving or receiving love. Today God is inviting me to bathe in His waters of forgiveness and let the love flow freely again. Forgiving = releasing. This changes when we release our hurt. I imagine my hurt like dirt covering my skin and when I forgive is like the water washes it off. I just stand under the shower of forgiveness choosing to release their debt until the hurt and bitterness is washed away.
Today I have been reflecting on how deeply wounded and so broken I was 5 years ago. I felt lost and had no hope. After my divorce from a marriage that lasted 22 years, I gave up. I was angry, hurt and felt abandoned, rejected, and not worthy. This all changed when I surrendered my will to God’s will. I discovered and learned how to nurture and love myself because I was seeking acceptance, love and approval from others, placing myself in relationships with people that were just as wounded and broken as I was. I took about a year off from relationships, and started to spend some “me” time. This in its self was an amazing adventure. I dealt with past wounds from when I was 7 years old and all through now adulthood. (old and new wounds). I thought I was doing pretty well living with these wounds and they didn’t affect me (Wrong). They were tucked and hidden so deep that they became numb. Through my healing process, they each surfaced one by one, remained for a time as I relived each one again, Sometimes I cried uncontrollably, at other times I was angry. I allowed myself to feel angry and sad. I faced every one in the face as if it happened today, I was able to release all the feelings I had penned up inside. Today I feel healthy and free. I no longer have bondage, I’m no longer insecure or afraid. Today I’m happy to say that I feel not only free and healthy, also secure, loved, and living bold. Through this life experience I have the opportunity to help others in this same situation. I walk along side woman that are lost like I was, and very wounded and broken. I find by me being there for them and available 24/7, (whether its to cry together or just have a simple chat) it brings me such joy to my heart that I’m able to encourage them to hold God’s hand, not to give up, and press through the fire. This I share as its been very enlightening. I ask you ” How are You with yourself? Are you seeking love, acceptance, and approval from others? Or are you living a bold life feeling free and loved? If you would like to share your story, I would love to hear about it. either comment or email me @firstname.lastname@example.org, Blessings! Lourdes