Its like a trend starts, picks up momentum and blows right past the point of balance and so it turns around and does the same thing in the opposite direction- Like a pendulum, swinging from side to side. Life is always in a state of motion and changes direction all the time. Now the question is… How do I believe I stay stable in motion? I believe true stability is not in the absence of change, It is the ability to maintain balance in a changing world. As an individual, the challenge is to develop a strong inner sense of balance that is not easily disrupted by changing external influences. When I feel balanced in my life, my sense of identity is not threatened just because circumstances have changed. Meaning- I’m both adaptable and stable at the same time. By recognizing this and appreciating my own set of unique resources, strengths, values, and abilities, I then started to spend some time figuring out Who I Am as a person and connect with that person. I believe that some us have lost touch with our creative self by allowing the roles we play to define Who We Are as a person when it should be the other way around. From this perspective, the winds of the change can easily throw us off balance. I started to then think about outside influences that can throw me off. ( One example )
1. Associates- The attitude of close associates may have a powerful influence on my personal ideas and beliefs. Their opinions can actually precondition me to view things the way they do. I may value their opinions so much that I subconsciously adapt their viewpoint without any personal experience.
My life and its many pursuits should be an expression of my most cherished dreams and values. Not the ones dictated by others. I find that some people choose a life that is based on external criteria. They end up following a path that leads away from the expression of their True Self and then with each step, they actually distance themselves from the life they truly long for. Circumstances and friends have a way of changing. Sometimes they support our dreams and passions and other times they provide a challenge. So I keep my dreams alive in the face of challenging circumstances, this requires that I know Who I really Am and What I really want. Once I’m in touch with my True Self, the changes around me become much less influential, instead of my identity being anchored to external forces, it remains safe and secure no matter which way the winds of change decides to blow.
Who am I ? This question is not asking me, What’s my name, marital status, or life history. These may be a reflection of Who I am, But this question goes deeper than that. I ask myself “How well do I actually know this person” Like, “Who I am underneath all the trappings and titles” “What do I see when I look at my very core”, this inner person walking around in my body doing my job and managing my life. (My True Self). I remember as a child hearing “What do you want to be when you grow up?” This never sat well with me and I discovered why. I believe the question should be “Who do you want to be instead of “What”. In reality “What” is just a role we play and may have very little to do with our true identity as a person. So how can I align my life with my True Self if I don’t know Who I Am? I believe that our ability to find meaning and purpose in this journey we call life hinges on how well we actually know ourselves. Discovering our True Self can open the door to a life that feels fulfilling and exciting. I started to think and discover about My True Self. My values- Things that matter the most to me on the deepest levels. My personal values and standards- Priorities and Beliefs. Understanding my strengths- My natural abilities that I posses and the ones I want to cultivate and develop. These are personal assets giving me a position in life. Knowing my passions- What am I passionate about? What activities and pursuits make me feel really alive. Identifying my tendencies- These often become habits either good or bad. Acknowledging my limits- Which skills or activities are beyond my ability for that time. This way I can focus my energy where its the most effective. Since I know I can improve my abilities in most areas of life, I don’t view current limitations as permanent. I’m realistic in my personal assessment. Setting my goals- Things I want to really achieve, what person do I want to grow into. Clarity was very important when I started setting my goals, this lead to action, because without clarity it can lead to confusion and inaction. I then established my direction, where my True Self will take me. Understanding All these, I then needed to have a destination to move towards, a direction. I didn’t worry about reaching my destination because reality is that its the journey that counts. So I picked a direction that represented genuine happiness and I moved towards it, and then just left life unfold. Taking time with getting to know my True Self was so important. I discovered the wonderful blends of amazing abilities and qualities I possess that’s also felt by others.
A blog reaching out to victims of abuse and others in need, providing insight about abuse, hope for the future, and guidance to see THE LIGHT that lead Secret Angel out of the darkness of her own abusive situation and helped her to not only survive but to overcome.